I have done something in the world of athletics ever since I can remember. There is a picture I have from when I was three years old of me in a green and gold jumpsuit holding a basketball. Fast forward to 2019 and me at twenty one years having to stop playing football. What to do after athletics... That is, in my opinion, one of the most important aspects of sports, and something few talk about. Yes, I was told that the coaches were here to make me a better man, husband, and father after football. Yes, I was told that it would be over and we would have to get real jobs and that football wasn't forever. No one told me how to do it. Sure, we were given resources to "use", but we are guys who never had to admit that we needed help.
Tough it out, you'll be fine, rubs some dirt on it...
After you are done, no one tells you that you are going to wake up in a panic when you realize it is eight in the morning and you believe you are late to weights that started at six. No one tells you that when you are struggling you will tell yourself to not "bother" all the guys who were there for you before because they are in the middle of a long season. That you believe your problems aren't important to anyone else and why should they be? When you had struggles while playing, you still had a job to do. No one cared that you broke up with your girl, that you got two hours of sleep and had a test that day, that you are sore and exhausted, so why should they care now? These are all lies you tell yourself. No one warns you, no one prepares you, no one "cares.
Quit talking about the past and move on...
Now, that seems pretty harsh, and you are probably thinking, "people care, your former teammates care, your family, friends, etc.," and you would be right. The people who love you and want you to succeed do care. However, how are they supposed to know when you won't tell them? If all you say is, "I wish I was still playing" or, "I should still be out there", all they hear is that you want to go back, that you aren't finished. When you really need to be honest and open about how you feel and what you think so you can move on and those people can help you. The more you tell yourself that you can go back, the harder it will be to move on. My dad told me to: A. Get back in shape and keep playing if that is what I wanted to do. Or B: Quit talking about it and move on. That "simple" decision helped me get past the hurt and pain that football caused me.
Football isn't my identity...
For many athletes, their sport is their identity. For me, I do my best to find my identity I my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Unfortunately, I am human and have failed at this many times. For me, football was it. I was known as the football player and not necessarily by my faith. After I stopped playing, it took me over a year to finally let that go and allow God to become my identity again. The game had completely consumed my life and I allowed it to be my little "g" god as my youth pastor would say. It bothers me when I see so many people completely consumed by what they do, and not who they live for. Few people teach you, remind you, help you remember that fact. It comes with having a personal relationship with Jesus, of course, but surrounding yourself with like minded people is an absolute must. Realizing that the sport you play doesn't define you and that one day it will go away, is a difficult pill to swallow, but one that must go down.
What I know now...
After going through what I did, I see what God was teaching me. Maybe not everything, but what He wants me to see at this time in my life. I believe He was showing me that my identity is in Him, and nothing else. The other aspect is that, going through what I did, I now can help others in those types of situations. Allowing the pain and struggles that I battled with to be a guide for other athletes who are done with their playing careers. What I have isn't perfect. I am not going to win a Noble Prize for having the best strategy. I certainly am not boasting about getting through, but if I can help one person with their journey, then I know it was worth it. God has given me the opportunity now to be a basketball coach and work with student athletes at the beginning of their athletic careers. I love it. Being around them, watching them grow and become better players, it is awesome. It truly is a blessing. I am doing my best to allow God to shine through me and help me be a Godly role model.
If you need to talk about something, reach out to the people who love you. They will listen. Reach out to your former teammates. They care. Reach out to people who have been where you are. Their journeys could help you on yours. Just don't think you have to go through it alone.